Amit Mahalle 的个人资料Boulevard of Dreams照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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7月7日 You know your from Pune when....EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE OR.... HAS HEARD OF EVERYONE!!!! :) 1. Koregaon Park is still the coolest area for you to hang out in. 2. All the shop keepers on mg road recognise you when you walk past their stores. 3. All the parking attendants and beggars on mg road also recognise you when you walk past them. 4. Cyclone, Palazo, Go Bananas, Xion and Lush are clubs of the past. 5. You love the strawberry milkshake & the Sitaphal milkshake at fantasy - Devyani Sadalkar 6. You miss Barista KP. And Gazebo. And Jaws... 7. You've spent hours sitting in German Bakery and have encountered the mad beggar girl with the baby who harrows everyone who enters or leaves the bakery. 8. You've also spent hours at SGS Magnum Mall, Pune Central and Nucleus. 9. You've encountered rickshaw wallas who like to swear and smoke. 10. You've been around on a two wheeler at least once. 11. You really dislike walking plaza on weekends cas mg road feels like saras baug then. 12. When you werent in college, you were somewhere in Inox,CAFE DELIGHT, E-Square, Adlabs or NCC. 13. You love the expressway!!! And the McDonalds And Datta's .... 14. Your new year's eve is either at Bala's or Goa. 15. Christmas Eve means Jiten Singh's Bash. 16. You've seen a few celebrities in Le Meridien. 17. You got a tattoo done from Sabby's. 18. You know what ikde, thamba, kutey and mala mean. 19. You wear/have worn Osho Chappals! 20. You were standing in a long queue when Mocha first opened on Law College Road. 21. You refer to cops as Mamu and old men as Kaka and all male shopkeepers or rickshawalas as "boss" - Tushar Arora 22. You go to Pasteur/ Mazorin/ Vaishalli / Olympia/ George restaurant /cafe good luck / blue nile/ Coffee House /Manmeet/ Burger King/ Shisha cafe/ Buddha paradise..... AT LEAST once a week 23. You feel extra happy during ganesh chathurti and love the dhin chak music playing everywhere. 24. You love to compare Camp and Deccan. 25. Pimpri, Chinchwad, Pashan and Nigdi are FAR. 26. When you associate the following words to... i) Wada Pav - JJ Gardens ii) Mithai - Karachi iii) Public Transport - Rikshaw iv) Extended publc transport - Six Seater Rikshaw v) Thursday - Power Cut! - Mohit Chandiramani 27. You have spent numerous weekends in Mahabaleshwar and Lonavala - Vikas Singh 28 Sarcasm is a part of your behaviour. 29. When you visit other cities, you are surprised to see shops open after 9. 30. You think Misal in Shrikrishna is god-sent. 31. You laugh when you see people in Mumbai wearing sweaters. 32. You don't wear helmets. 33. You don't encourage wearing helmets. 34. You say, 'The Expressway is truly a boon. Mumbai and Pune are now close, that Mumbai is almost a suburb of Pune..' 35. You don't believe in dressing up like you're going for a party all the time. 36. You speak intelligently. 37. You would rather have Wada-pav, or King Beef than a McD. 38. You think Chitale's exports all over the world. 39. You think Bakarwadis are the best Chakna! 40. You are involved in theatre. 41. You actually join a community which hails people from Pune! - Suhrud Godbole ( 28-41 PS: Thanks! Those were great! ) 42) The first thing that u read in " The Times of India" is Pune Times 43) The most frequestly used part of ur car is the horn 44) You cannot drive for more than 20 mins without abusing someone 45) At least one of ur friends works in a call center 46) Every 3-4 months u look at ur road and wonder.. " why the hell are these guys digging up the road again 47) There's atleast one pan-tapri on the corner of the street 48) You tend to have a cigarettes credit account (udhari) wid ur daily pan tapri wala 49) You tend to use the word "maal" for gurls and not goods 50) You have attended atleast one freshers party during hot afternoon hours at the crappiest discs in pune... (during my 11th it was crystal ball on mg road) 51) Going to KP was really cooool for your friends 52) Have seen many people wearing dark sun glasses at night 53) Experienced some ppl blasting music wid their windows rolled down while driving on f.c. road 54) Have tried ur level best to get a bala's pass for new years eve 55) You Somehow love the ganpati mandal music during the ganpati festival 56) You buy biscuits for ur relatives from kayani bakery, camp when they are in pune 57) Always keep an eye on the rickshaw meter to assure its correct 58) Have definitely been on a drive to chandni chowk 59) Argue which is the better multiplex.. inox or e-square 60) Have waited several minutes for a table in vaishali requesting the uncle a million times to get a table for u fast - Romie Halan (42-60 PS : Those were awesome) 61) Where most girls on bikes/ scooters will have a scarf around their face looking like "daku mangal singh or Phoolan devi" (Christina Prabhakar PS : I roam around on my bike and forgot to add this point myself!!! :D - June) 62) You think its your birthright to break signals! (Vishal Gupta ) 63) Furniture Shops mushroom at every nook & corner flaunting their wares in the open. 64) Nightclubs keep opening & closing with regular frequency 65) Some area or the other is always under repairs…roads or flyover/bridge. 66) You are laid back but have lots of tolerance& patience dealing with & accepting Oshoites, foreign college students & other foreigners. 66) You go for a Mastani instead of a Falooda. 67) Sales at Pune Central create major traffic chaos esp. on the weekends. 68) Restaurants at lunch time are always empty except for Mainland China, Not just Jazz by the Bay and the South Indian joints. 69) You don't have a male servant. 70) Your maid is a part timer who steals things while going home in the evenings. 71) You can recognize a "mumbaikar" from his dress & behaviour. 72) Nobody gets their air, oil & water checked while filling petrol in their cars except the visiting mumbaikars. 73) You don't need to have the seat belt clasped while driving your car. 74) You can drive in the night with no or dim street lights on & full head lights on of cars & trucks approaching you from the opposite side....something a mumbaikar can never get used to. 75) Different cuisine restaurants keep opening & closing at koregaon park & kalyani nagar 76) Out-of-town college students form groups on Orkut seeking free or paid sex from lonely aunties, housewives & such. 77) You know someone who works at a Call Center / BPO/ IT Park 78) Heaps of Strawberries are piled & sold on hand carts (63-78 Vivek Agarwal) 79) When you are not studying ,you are doing "VELAGIRI" or "LUKHAGIRI". 80) The shopkeepers around you are so slow that it gets on your nerves!!! 81) You have had experienced amazing weather in evenings. 82)You wish for the crazy rain to stop during monsoon . 83)You are unable to decide whether potholes are in roads or VICE VERSA. 84)You are sick and tired of the pollution. 85) You wonder what will happen to the city if there are still more cars on the road.(i think traffic will cum to a stand still in a few years). (Kruti Bakshi 79-85) 86) You've eaten Bun Maska at an Irani cafe. 87) The default thought in everyone's mind on a holiday is "lets go to Khadakwasla" 88) You've said or thought "those Bombayites have ruined the peace of Pune" 89) You've swung from Banyan tree roots on the way back from school 90) Jogging laps around race course is your idea of a healthy life. (Stephen Williams 86-90) 91) After India won the 20-20 World Cup, you saw lots of guys driving around the city and cars blasting the song "Chak de India" and shouting and waving from the windows 92) YOU CANNOT STAND PMT'S. PERIOD. THE DRIVERS ARE INSANE. ESPEACIALLY AT NIGHT ( Yeah, i've seen PMT buses running at really odd hours) 6月16日 Exam fun The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swedon, Wiltshire. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs Q. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (eg the abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O and U Q. What is the fibula A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium Q.. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure A. A Roman Emperor Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face Q. What does the word 'benign' mean A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. What is a turbine A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head 6月11日 Taare Zameen ParIF Karan Johar made Taare Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!). Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts). Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable). Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad. Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford) It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience. The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl. It would have one dance number. The film would be titled ' Kuch Taare Zameen Par.' If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare Obvious starcast: Salman as the teacher. Rani as the mother. Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university. An orchestra would play every time anyone cried. Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene. The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a f***ing difference. The film would cost 60 crores. If Farah Khan made Taare Obvious starcast: SRK as the teacher (yawn).. In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself. The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.. To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight. The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background. If Rakesh Roshan made Taare Obvious starcast: Hrithik Roshan as the teacher. Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction. Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know. In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype. Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid's prototype, traveling to alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back. The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music. The film's name would again start with a K.. probably ' Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par' The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition. If Priyadarshan made Taare: Obvious starcast: Akshay Kumar as the teacher. Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad. It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny. The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to The parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like 'iss umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes, the director would think it is funny. In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other.That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion. And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway. 6月10日 I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKINGA teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd std Johnny,the nuaghtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand. now johnny has a doubt.
teacher is terribly embarrassed,but she puts on a brave face and answers. Teacher: "I....I......I guess the one which is sucking on the ice cream is married." Johnny:" no ma'am,the one who has the wedding ring on
her finger is married,BUT I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKING." !!!!! 5月27日 17 YERAS OLD RESUME
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 & 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a! fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. Old Days..Sho SweetCouples in their nineties are both having problems remembering
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